To find Love/a Lover you must First Love Yourself

Love is a loaded word; this little four letter word goes deep. Defining it is so complicated I wouldn't even attempt, but I will only refer you to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.  I think it is in your best interest to love yourself before you go seeking a lover. My personal journey to loving myself was very challenging, and now it’s my pleasure to offer suggestions on how to love you.

Accept and Appreciate the Physical You

This might sound a little crazy, but try standing before your mirror in your birthday suit. Really pay attention to what’s before you. Breathe deeply, relax and acknowledge what you appreciate about your body. Forget what you think about how fat, skinny, short, lacking muscles, etc. focus on the positives, how your face light up when you smile for example. Remember you are uniquely you. Tell yourself you are special, the more you say it, the more you will believe it. If you can’t accept and appreciate the physical you, you will have difficulty accepting compliments from the opposite sex. 

Get to Know Yourself

You might think you know everything about yourself but you don’t. You learn so much about yourself as you find yourself in different situations, around different people and engaging in different activities. To introduce yourself to a potential lover you should know your likes, dislikes, what makes you angry, how far your patience can be stretched etc. In your singleness, step away from the proverbial box you walk around with. Try new activities, travel to different places and don’t be afraid to meet new people. This is just a part of the process of getting to know you.

Start “Loving-up” Yourself

Nurture yourself, eat as healthy as possible and spend time grooming and pampering yourself. Meet your personal emotional needs. By doing these things you gain confidence you never dream would be possible. With daily practice you will be more loving and caring towards yourself.

In loving yourself, when you enter a relationship you will have confidence in presenting the real you to your partner. You won’t be afraid to let your partner see your flaws, giving him/her the opportunity to love every aspect of you! Flaws and all.

Shanna-Kay Britton-Edwards

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