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Am I Dateable?

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Its common practice for people who have an interest in getting married, have a list of characteristics, physical features et,. that they are looking for in a potential spouse. I know I did. (Tall dark and handsome, two out of three not bad right?) But do you have a second copy, so that daily with pray you make these criteria for yourself?  If you answer no, then you are not yet date-able. The Bible says in Song of Solomon 2:7 ESV I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the doers of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. You are date- able when:

     You can bring valuable contribution to someone else’s life. You are an asset not a deficit. Because you have found your purpose, content with being single, have plans and visions for your life. So work on you before you actively start searching for a partner. Proverbs 19:2 ESV says, desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses is way.

Growing up there were lots of children games that send the message of getting married and having a family. One that stands out to me is a skipping rope game *upstairs downstairs underneath the toilet* each round you would have list of things you desire to happen to you in the future. Eg, first round you would present a list of names of the people you would want to marry, and as you jump rope these names are repeated and once you "out" (rope gets tangled with feet), the name it stops on that’s your future spouse. Other rounds are more things you desire from your future partner. These games were focused on what you look for in someone, none I recall was designed for you to prepare yourself for that someone.

The quest for an ideal partner invariably begins with a long look inward. You can practice communication techniques, make endless lists of the characteristics you look for in a partner, but until you’re willing to work on yourself and be the person you hope to, the chances are good that you’ll remain unsatisfied in practically any relationship. 

I hear persons say when we are on the subject of “what is it that you want in a partner”, “what are you looking for in a partner”, “who would be the perfect partner for you”.
Be the person you want to find, I would like to ask are you being the person they are looking for, hoping for, praying for, and desperately asking GOD for?  If not it’s time to clean house. Ask yourself: How can I make myself better? Am I complete or a work in progress? Am I being the person I want to find? How can we make each other better, instead of how can he/she make me better? Through prayer, work on you and focus less on what you want from him/she.


     There is an acceptance that you don’t need a partner to be complete. Your “other half” is NOT! Missing. Your life is not of any less value because you are not yet married. It’s in marriage; I have come to learn this. It’s dangerous to think your partner will complete you. If he/she falls short in “completing” any area of your life you expect, you will be greatly disappointed, and too much pressure is on the other person to make you happy. With prayer and faith you will become content with this stage of life, and come to recognize and accept that a partner is not needed to make you complete or even make you happy.


You don’t just sit and wait on the Lord, and think that your life will begin after finding a spouse. Make yourself date-able by working on your career; work on your finances, start saving, get closer to God through studying His words. An advantage of being single is having more time to spend with the Lord, and to work full time in ministry.


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